11 weeks!

I have a bump!!!


DH stopped me out of the blue yesterday, pulled up my shirt, and exclaimed that I have a bump! Well, duh. I've been developing one but he didn't see it. Everytime I'd say something he'd look at me like I was nuts. I think its finally sinking in that in about 6 months we'll have a baby and there's a tiny person growing inside me. He kissed my tummy and it was one of the sweetest moments of my life.


Banana pudding. Please. Bring. Me. Some. Now.

Stretching

At night it feels like Lima Bean is stretching my uterus and hips, like taking his/her little teensy arm buds and pulling my insides like taffy. DH and I keep arguing in the night because I need to sleep on my side hugging a body pillow and according to DH I'm invading his space. Talking space, he's driving me nuts and I want some effing space. Rant over. I haven't been feeling quite as motion sick which is good but I have been having some pretty strong food aversions. The other night at Golden Corrall I was looking forward to fried chicken and bread and butter which I couldn't eat. I could eat Mac and Cheese and banana pudding though.

Oh! And guess what! My boobs are looking a little fuller. Yippppeeee!

9 weeks

I was 9 weeks yesterday. Unfortunately DH and I are going through some stuff. He fucked up and while it isn't necessarily a deal breaker its not something I'll forgive right away. I'm so worried about the stress its having on the baby. I know too much stress can make you miscarry...Trust me, after the last time I've done the research and I know what can and can't make you miscarry. I get so worried about worrying that I get more worried and I can't stop. I feel lost in stress and hurt feelings and that's the last thing I was surrounding my unborn child. All I want to do is cry but I know I have to hold it together and somehow deal positively with the stress but I don't know how. Usually I have coffee with a friend or a glass of wine or a hot bath but I can't do any of those. I don't trust myself to have just one cup of coffee without restarting the habit. Obviously wine is out of the question and we haven't had hot water since last Tues. Hopefully our new water heater can be installed today but with the shitty week I'm having I'm not going to hold my breath. All I want to do is hide. I wish I could get a motel room somewhere just to be by myself for a night and take a hot bath and relax. But we can't afford it! Why? Because they are redoing our floors this week from where the furniture company's movers scratched them with our appliances while moving them in. The furniture store will only pay to fix the front two rooms but then the floors wouldn't match throughout so we had to come 900$ out of pocket for their effing mistake. AND we are getting a new water heater and I've missed a week of my babysitting job. We just finished paying off my credit cards and all I wanna do is run to the mall and have a shopping spree. Anything to make myself feel a little better. And all I can think about is Lima Bean and trying to get myself together for him or her.