Waiting

My period is due today. I peed on an EPT yesterday and it was a bad test...came back inconclusive. The control window never turned and I wanted to scream. Actually I wanted to drive back to store and buy out their stock but I resisted. I took one last Friday too and it came back negative. 5 days early means the test is only 53% accurate so I tried to remain positive without becoming overly hopeful. I hate this waiting game. I want to be optimistic and "hope it into existence" like the bible says but I'm also afraid to be hopeful and be disappointed. The worst part is that I could be going through this emotional rollercoaster for months or longer. Everytime I smell something I stop and wonder if I'm preggers. If my stomach twinges I wonder if its morning sickness and if my nipples get the tiniest bit hard I think I'm knocked up.

So I'm waiting for my period. And I'm not the most patient person so its not the easiest thing for me to do.