Two nights ago Husband came home and looked stressed so I asked him what was up. He said that he'd seen an ad for 8 week old shit tzu puppies and wanted to get me one but by the time he got done work and got over there they were all taken. He was so upset because it seems to be the one thing he could do to help me and was excited to do it and then it didn't happen. A puppy would have been a great surprise expecially with all I've been going through. I'd been a little sad all day because we gave our newest dog, the boxer we'd rescued, to a family that really really loved him. Don't get me wrong! We loved him too but he wasn't flourishing in a three dog household; he really needed more attention. Its sad that we don't get to have him with us everyday but its a happy situation because he's with family, has a little girl to wrestle with now, and is the only dog they have. Its bittersweet ... difficult but bittersweet...
So fast forward to yesterday. Husband was released from work super early! He asked if I wanted to go to the SPCA to look for a puppy. We decided to go but I was feeling unsure because I only want a dog that would be good for our family and not just a puppy because of my grieving. I guess you could say that I'm trying to think long term and not just short term/getting me through this.
We saw some puppies but none were really right. I just didn't feel 100% comfortable in my heart. My gut wasn't feeling it so we decided to get lunch and then head to the pound. At the pound we didn't see any puppies except for Jack Russels which aren't a breed conducive to our lifestyle...But we found a young male cocker spaniel who I fell in love with. We decided that even though he was timid we'd nurse him and bring him into our pack. We were scheduled to pick him up today but we received a call that he has Stage 3-4 heartworm and we really can't afford the 1500-2000$ to treat him. I was sad...still am...
As I was digesting the day and what happenned and what could have happenned my Mom called. I talk with her everyday but usually its day to day stuff. Yesterday she called to say that my Uncle had passed from cancer. He'd been battling it nearly three years and was in his 70s. Even though I know he's at peace I'm grieiving for my Aunt who just lost her husband.
There's been so much loss lately in my life. I have so much to be thankful for but sometimes its hard to keep your head on straight when you're reeling.
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