Is that I still think I look pregnant. I hadn't put on a lot of weight but I still can't button my jeans. Some people probably think I look fat but I feel like I look pregnant since all the weight is below my bellybutton and that's not where I usually gain. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Whenever I catch a glimpse of my stomach I remember how happy I was when it started sticking out the tiny little bit it does now...how I felt my stomach and was glad it felt hard and not hard from muscle anymore. I can't wait till I look back to normal. Maybe then I'll feel back to normal?
Right now I hate myself for acting the way that I am...but I'm not sure how else to act. I know I'm glum and moody and sad and uncaring. I know those aren't necessarily good things to be- especially not all at once! But I don't feel like I have much to smile for. I feel like being sad and moody is the only way I can be in this situation. Husband says I need to move on and when I start being myself I'll feel better. How can I be myself after something like this? Will I ever be "myself" again?
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Are you talking to anyone about your feelings? I'm not saying you need therapy but I am saying that a lot of strong women have been broken by this and talking it out with a professional could be of great benefit to you. I don't know if there is a "right time" to start "feeling normal" but if you think you are supposed to be feeling back to normal but you aren't then I'm sure a chat with someone wouldn't hurt to navigate how you're feeling. Please don't take this as me calling you crazy, far from it, just trying to help. Take care.
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